Before we even start, we must address a certain article that was published in our very own newspaper. 

A few cycles ago, in fact, a few months ago, an alarming article caught our attention. The article, “Why You Should Not Write for Stem”,  though incredibly well-written, is full of accusatory claims, misinformation, and most offensively, pure spite for the STEM section. Now, as the section’s editors, we are morally obligated to respond to it. 

It truly amazes us how such atrocities were allowed to be published. The writer, having been seized by their resentful emotions during the writing process, made a tremendously broad, biased claim that STEM inflicted mental health issues onto the masses. The writer even classified us as  “victims of Stockholm Syndrome,” though our therapist — the good ol’ Ti-84 — would say otherwise. In fact, it’s solved a plethora of problems recently from finding our X’s to identifying our highs and lows. 

Clearly, we’re doing fine! And it’s all thanks to STEM. 

Even more, they also made the false accusation about STEM being the cause of World War II… Who could believe such a thing? Let’s be honest, there’s only one group that can rewrite history. The humanities might think they  control the narrative with the power of the pen, but all they do is twist the tale. We’ll be honest with you because numbers don’t lie (or at least, we’re supposed to think that). 

Anyways, we absolutely couldn’t just let this unwarranted slander slide, even though we procrastinated the actual publication of this article (what the heck is satire), we, the STEM editors, are officially and finally addressing that article and taking a stand! 

 Let’s talk initials, arguably the most upfront issue at hand. Even though the Humanities™ attempts to convince you that STEM stands for Sickening Torture of Endless Monstrosities (although not entirely unfounded), it stands for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math. What a nice, easy-to-remember name! With such a simple name to remember, you can spend 99% of your brain power (or at least whatever is left of it) on solving that physics FRQ everyone lost half the points on. 

Now, let’s talk about what STEM can do for you. That’s right. We’re all about giving here! 

Let’s be real for a second. Relationships are pretty hard. In fact, for most of us emotionally unavailable overthinkers, who play 25 instruments and 9 sports and founded 15 nonprofits and have an officer position in 23 clubs (you founded 20 of them) and take 40 AP classes, love is downright impossible! 

In STEM, you’ll never be alone (“When you miss [STEM] close your eyes, [it] may be far but never gone”). And it all comes down to the CCC: Communicate, Commitment, and Compromise (NOT the Civilian Conservation Corps! Beware: Humanities is brainwashing you). 

Often we have to follow these 3 C’s for our English and History classes. We have to communicate with our peers in scored discussions (I do not want to talk about the significance of the color red in the Scarlet Letter, we all know the answer anyway), commit to endless assignments (because for some reason they’re always mandatory, I can’t remember the last time Mr. Boop checked my math “homework”), and compromise our free time to get those good grades (how many pages of research is actually enough to get that A+?). 

And what has the humanities done for you? Sleepless nights, tests you can’t study for, and pushing you to take “rhetorical” risks. There’s nothing risky in STEM, everything is calculated from the hardness of each question (:/) to the easiest multiplication problems (God forbid I get 96 wrong) to our grades (how many points can we lose…). And don’t even get us started with everything you have to lose in order to take these risks. Come AP timed writes and you can say a bitter goodbye to the final point. If you miss it because of a failed risk, just hope you got the compelling commentary (whatever that means). 

Not STEM though. 

You can count on STEM to communicate what you did wrong, commit to the correct answer, and compromise the different ways to solve a problem. We are all familiar with the red crosses marking the mistake, which are a breath of relief to decipher than English hieroglyphics. From there, you can quickly identify what went wrong and figure out how to improve. In STEM, it’s nice to know that there is one bullseye and even the dumbest way can still lead to the correct answer. It’s nice to know that your effort is valued, so always go for the partial credit. It’s nice to know there is a clear right and wrong.

Communication. Commitment. Compromise. That is what a healthy relationship looks like (not that most of us would know). Leave your expectations for toxic, draining, unhealthy love behind and raise your standards because you deserve better. 

Now, we know there is still skepticism. How can STEM be the love of my life? 

Well sometimes “You never realize the value of something until it’s gone,” so let’s take an analytical approach.  Without STEM, you couldn’t sob over your 50% on your last Physics Quiz, wake up in cold sweat realizing you messed up that last math problem, or spill toxic acids on your favorite dress because you forgot it was a lab day. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, am I right? Truthfully, there’s a whole world waiting to be discovered, mysteries waiting to be unearthed, and possibilities waiting to be invented. What better a partner to accompany you through it all than STEM.

So write for STEM! Maybe then you can find some love (or at least have a higher chance at it, because we’re all about being realistic with STEM). Whether it reminds you of past trauma from your chemistry courses, or you’re a rare species that actually enjoys it, the STEM section is an inclusive space for all!

(Sine)cerely yours, 

Jade Lee and Angie Yang